I still recall the well-intended comments of friends and relatives asking if my daughter with autism is getting any “better”.
By “better” means that she is behaving more ”normal” – I am sorry to say that my daughter is not getting any better. She has not made any “progress”.
Is achieving “normalcy” the only way to support and help children on the autism spectrum? Is reaching “normalcy” a benchmark that we have succeeded in raising them?
By trying to “fix” them, we are saying that it is not OK to be them; what you do, say or act is wrong.
Imagine being asked to write with your left hand when you are actually right-handed or vice versa {unless you have ambidextrous abilities}, how unnatural that would feel not being able to write with your dominant hand.
All of us thrive according to our natural form and function. Why should this be any different with those on the spectrum?
Have you ever considered that people whom you call “low functioning” or having “disabilities may be actually be engaging in a reality that is far more complex and magnificent than us typical people?
Yes, my daughter is not “normal”, but she is doing just fine.
I will do my best as her mother to help her adapt to a world that doesn’t quite understand her. Likewise, I will teach her that it is all right to be herself. She should be proud and not be ashamed of her autism.
4 Ways that will bring you closer to accepting your child’s autism.
(1) View autism as a different-ability, not a disability.
By reframing our mindset more positively, we can approach our child with more compassion and empathy.
(2) Read about strengths associated with autism.
Special needs or not, all of us have our own strengths and weaknesses. It always serves us better when we focus on the earlier.
(3) Read about successful ASD people.
Just to name a few – Albert Einstein, Mozart, Hans Christian Andersen, Tim Burton, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Emily Dickinson, Temple Grandin etc.
(4) Consider your child’s special strengths.
Let’s be honest, we have more fun doing the things we love, don’t we?
I understand that the path to acceptance is not an easy one. It is something that is not going to happen overnight. However, for the sake of our children, it is a path where all special needs parents need to strive towards.
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