When Feeling Positive Feels Fake

Sometimes when the worries and concerns of your children feel so overwhelming, you wonder how to “stay positive”. Hell! There are even days when I feel that I don’t want to get out of bed. 

Being positive sometimes feels so fake and unnatural when things are chaotic on the homefront. So what gives me the right to preach about positive parenting? It feels hypocritical.

Feeling Unnatural Does Not Mean Being Fake

Just because an activity feels unnatural in the beginning does not necessarily mean that you are being fake for performing it.

For example, if you have never exercised a day in your life and you decide that you want to start today. Running or going to the gym might feel you are about to kill yourself. Until your body starts to get into a decent fitness routine, even a mild jog is going to feel very unnatural.

If you are accustomed to complaining every day about everything that goes wrong, it probably feels exaggerated when you try to describe your experiences in a more positive light. You may have become so accustomed to negatively interpreting events that it now seems like the normal, healthy, natural thing to do.

Any positive change can feel that you are forcing it during the initial stages. Still, if we can be patient with ourselves and commit to the process of positivity, this fake feeling will eventually go away.

3 Ways To “Stay Positive” Even On Fake Days

1. Writing things down 

Writing things down helps me to process my emotions; it is a great way to work through my inner conflict and feelings around a particular situation. It is similar to talking with a friend through the situation, except that it is a useful way for me to self-soothe, and it enhances self-knowledge. 

If I am feeling angry, I write it down. This is one of the processes I took to overcome my anger to help my family.

2. Appreciate the smallest things

Even when my family is working through a difficult time, it is possible to experience moments of joy. The key is appreciating even the smallest or fleeting moments. 

I find joy in the sounds of my children’s laughter, the morning coffee my husband makes for me every day or even watching the evening sunsets.

Appreciating these moments of joy is a way to fight off that false belief that things will not improve. It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking hard times are here to stay, and by mindfully noticing joy helps us to avoid that.

3. Take one small, simple step each day 

“I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble.”

Helen Keller

There are times when I feel that I am not good enough or I have not done enough.

In moments like this, I think about just one small action I can do to improve today’s situation.

What small step can I take today to make things better for my family and me? 

Feeling down today? –> Take that walk.

My child is having a bad day today. –> Just hug each other.   

Child’s therapy cancelled or unavailable. –> Read a little about the therapy today.

There will be days when we will be working on things just to get by a difficult time. There will also be days that we will be working on building our family’s future.

And that is ok. It is enough. Let our small steps count.

We need to be content with the small steps because every small step we take each day adds up and you will know that you have covered the distance. 

That’s my two cents.

What are your thoughts?