The world can be a minefield for someone with autism.
An ordinary activity to many can be a sensory “assault” to those on the spectrum.
Places like school, playground, grocery shop or birthday parties are overloaded with sensory disturbance. The child can be unusually sensitive to anything from bright lights, loud noises, certain smells to large crowds.
The word “NEW” almost seems vulgar in the world of autism. New routines, new food, new environment…anything new…can be too much to handle.
Unexpected changes cause anxiety which can be challenging to manage; tipping the balance can lead to a tantrum outbreak.
How do you deal with someone who feels so much stress and anxiety in this world, who feels that the environment that they live in is painfully uncomfortable?
The miswiring of the processing sensory stimuli
All of us are bombarded with an array of sensory inputs of sound, smell, touch, taste and movement. Most people can filter and cope with these sensory stimuli, but those on the spectrum experience the world very differently.
This is due to their difficulties with their processing sensory stimuli. Sensory difficulties that can cause:
- Hypersensitivity (too much sensitivity)
- Hyposensitivity (too little sensitivity)
- Combination of both.
It is good to be aware of the sensory environment and how it might affect your child.
Over the past few years, more people have shown interest in how they can create a more friendly environment for autism. More architects are coming up with building designs adapted for autism, and families have remodeled rooms to provide positive sensory experiences for their child. These are all very good initiatives in supporting those on the spectrum.
Creating an autism-friendly environment is not the same as removing obstacles and challenges
We often think that creating an autism-friendly environment is strictly a sensory exercise. While that is a crucial part of the process, creating the best setting for a child with autism to live and work, involves much more than making sure that the lights are not too bright, or they have a safe place to stim.
To create an autism-friendly environment is not the same as removing obstacles and challenges. It may be convenient in the short-run, but it will not benefit the child in the long-run.
The reality is that we live in a society that is typically not accommodating to those who are not “neurotypical”.
While we continue to advocate for our children to have a right to an environment that meets their needs, it is just as important to teach our children how to handle challenges in a positive way.
As parents, we would love to help our children not suffer. That said, just because they are autistic, we should not lower our expectations for them.
We do not avoid the challenges, but we make the challenges autism-friendly.
The 3 underrated strategies
(1) Clarity and predictability
To create an autism-friendly environment, give them clarity and predictability first; the rest comes later.
Clarity and predictability are a way for the child to ease their anxiety over the unknown.
They know what is happening in their lives and how they are going to navigate their day.
How to address clarity and predictability?
- Create a social story
Social stories are an easy way of teaching appropriate behaviour to children with special needs. It helps children struggling in unfamiliar social situations or changes.
There are many ways you can create your own social stories.
My friend’s husband is a very talented artist. He draws beautiful social stories for his autistic son.
For those who are not so artistically inclined {like me}, you could download some images and appropriate videos from the web. It is a quick and easy way of putting together a social story.
Alternatively, you can check out the social stories resources at One Place for Special Needs.
- Use written or visual aides to help communication
You feel that you have told your child a million times what’s to be expected.
Often children with autism are visual learners and thinkers. They can process pictures and words much quicker vs verbal communication.
For example, when my daughter has difficulty understanding the situation or is anxious about something, she finds it helpful when I show her pictures or write what I’m telling her.
Even for a child who speaks well, visuals and written words can benefit them too, especially when they struggle to express themselves under stress and anxiety.
- Keep a {visual} schedule
Children with autism often have difficulty coping with unstructured activities and benefit from an increased structure in their lives.
The concrete schedule provides structure and predictability.
Visual schedules increase one’s understanding and flexibility. It helps the child to remain calm and reduces inappropriate behaviours. It also develops one’s independence and self-esteem.
When a child feels safe and at ease; it relieves stress in the family.
Read about the research on visual schedules and autism.
- Don’t assume
We don’t assume the child knows what’s to be expected; even if he has done the task many times.
Sometimes the occasional reminder gives the child peace of mind.
(2) Physical health
It is widely acknowledged that a healthy body gives a healthy mind; the way we think or feel affects our body functions and vice versa.
Exercise not only provides health and weight loss benefits but also social, communication skills and mental benefits.
Despite the wide-ranging benefits of exercise, research indicates a lower level of physical activity participation in children with ASD compared to their neurotypical peers.
Many children with ASD often receive specialized care such as speech, occupational and ABA services. With most children having poor motor skills, exercising will help to boost such skills. Yet many families with autism continue to underestimate the importance of exercise for their child’s development.
How to get your child active?
There is no magic answer what activity is most appropriate for a child with ASD. The goal is to get the child moving.
Focus on the interest of the individual child. Find an activity that your child enjoys and introduce it into your child’s routine.
Sometimes we have to “expose” the child to various activities to determine what they like.
Next, it helps to find strategies that will maintain the child’s engagement to the activity.
80% of ASD children struggle with coordinated movements. Hence, the child may need physical or verbal guidance, i.e. someone holding their hand or verbally coach them through the activity.
Another great way of promoting health and fitness is to exercise as a family. For example, we enjoy taking nature hikes every weekend. It has become our family ritual.
(3) Resilience
Creating an autism-friendly environment is not the same as removing the obstacles and challenges for the child.
While it may be convenient in the short-run, it will not benefit the child in the long-run.
There is a great need for children on the spectrum to acquire resilience in order to achieve their potential and to maximize their well-being.
Without resilience, children and young people can go through life finding things increasingly challenging and more anxious about taking on new activities. Their anxiety will increase exponentially, hence, decreasing their quality of life.
With the development of resilience, though anxiety may not cease entirely, it will come in lower and less frequent peaks.
The more we teach them, the more resilience we build in them. Building resilience in children with ASD can be hugely beneficial in helping them to live an independent and rewarding life.
How to build resilience?
According to Dr Emma Goodall and Jeanette Purkis, here are 5 top tips for parents on developing resilience in their ASD child.
- Acceptance
Instead of trying to “fix’ the autism symptoms, accept the child for who she is, quirks and all.
Begin from a place that autism is an integral part of your child’s character and identity.
Then, help them to build resilience so that they grow to be the “best” person they can be.
- Start from a place of safety
When we begin to build resilience in a child, it needs to start from a safe place, be it physically or emotionally.
It helps that the child has her own place of safety. A safe place gives them a sense of control, and gradually they will build their trust and confidence in taking the next step.
- Controlled Challenges
To build resilience in children is not about making them tough; it’s the ability to recover from difficulties and manage their emotions.
Like muscles, you can help your child strengthen his/her resilience. The key to building resilience is to introduce them to a series of controlled challenges.
As children master one challenge and see success, they would feel more confident taking up the next challenge.
- Failing successfully
This is the core element in building resilience.
It is important to remind our children it is ok to make mistakes.
If we fail, we focus on the failure, not the person. Instead of labelling yourself as a loser, we learn to simply acknowledge that a mistake has been made.
We could guide them in seeing what they have learnt from the experience. What they can do differently the next time?
Finally, practice makes perfect.
- Believe in them
Autism is never an excuse. We should not underestimate the resilience of a child with autism.
While there are circumstances beyond our control, you need to have faith in your child’s own path.
Believing in them that things will work out and walking with them on their journey is sometimes what the child needs most from us.
Read more about Dr Emma Goodall and Jeanette Purkis’ practical guide in developing resilience in children on the autism spectrum.
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